At least some of Nasruddin's fortune was the result of smuggling goods from Persia into Greece. He made that long journey many times, presenting himself at the Greek border on top of a donkey carrying two enormous panniers of straw, one on each side of the donkey.
"Name please," the border guards would say.
"I am Nasruddin the Smuggler!" Nasruddin would boldly reply.
The guards realized that he must just be joking because there was nothing in the panniers but straw. They would stick their hands into the panniers and feel around carefully; sometimes they would even dump the contents of the pannier out onto the ground. Once or twice they even burned the straw. Nothing. Just straw.
Nasruddin, meanwhile, never complained about this treatment. Instead, he would just laugh good-naturedly, saluting the guards with a smile, and then continue on his way.
Some years later, one of the border guards ran into Nasruddin in the bazaar. Nasruddin was dressed in fine garments and attended by a retinue of servants. Clearly, he had become a very wealthy man indeed.
"Excuse me," the guard said to him. "But aren't you Nasruddin the Smuggler?"
"I am!" Nasruddin said proudly. "And you, sir, do I know you?"
"I am one of those border guards who used to search your panniers of straw each time you crossed the border. We never found anything in those panniers, although you have clearly prospered. I would very much like to know just what it was that you were smuggling."
"Donkeys!" Nasruddin replied.
Notes: I included this story in Witty Tales, version 1 (December 2019): 148. Nasruddin the Smuggler.
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Witty Tales. Nasruddin and the Truth.
One day, Mullah Nasruddin and the emperor were debating the nature of the truth. According to Tamerlane, the truth is a simple thing: what a person says is true, or it is not.
Nasruddin disagreed. "It is not always so easy to say what is and is not the truth, Your Majesty."
"Nonsense," said the emperor. "I am the emperor, and I can command that my people tell the truth. This shall be the new law: anyone wishing to enter the imperial city must tell the truth to the guard at the gate. And the penalty for not being truthful shall be death by hanging!"
Accordingly, the king set up a gallows right outside the city gate. Anyone wishing to enter the gate had to answer the guard's question truthfully; if not, the guard would hang the liar there on the gallows.
Nasruddin was the first person to present himself at the gate of the city next morning. Tamerlane was also present, eager to observe the truthfulness of his people.
"Good morning," Nasruddin said as he presented himself to the guard at the gate.
"Good morning to you!" said the guard. "To enter the city, you must answer this question truthfully: where are you going?"
"I am going," Nasruddin said solemnly, "to be hanged."
The guard stared at him closely. "Surely you are not telling the truth! I do not believe that is the truth at all."
"If I do not speak the truth," Nasruddin replied, "you must hang me."
The guard looked to the emperor for guidance, while Nasruddin smiled contentedly.
"You see, Your Greatness, the truth is not so simple as you thought."
Tamerlane had to laugh, and he ordered the guard to take down the gallows.
Notes: I included this story in Witty Tales, version 1 (December 2019): 159. Nasruddin and the Truth.
Nasruddin disagreed. "It is not always so easy to say what is and is not the truth, Your Majesty."
"Nonsense," said the emperor. "I am the emperor, and I can command that my people tell the truth. This shall be the new law: anyone wishing to enter the imperial city must tell the truth to the guard at the gate. And the penalty for not being truthful shall be death by hanging!"
Accordingly, the king set up a gallows right outside the city gate. Anyone wishing to enter the gate had to answer the guard's question truthfully; if not, the guard would hang the liar there on the gallows.
Nasruddin was the first person to present himself at the gate of the city next morning. Tamerlane was also present, eager to observe the truthfulness of his people.
"Good morning," Nasruddin said as he presented himself to the guard at the gate.
"Good morning to you!" said the guard. "To enter the city, you must answer this question truthfully: where are you going?"
"I am going," Nasruddin said solemnly, "to be hanged."
The guard stared at him closely. "Surely you are not telling the truth! I do not believe that is the truth at all."
"If I do not speak the truth," Nasruddin replied, "you must hang me."
The guard looked to the emperor for guidance, while Nasruddin smiled contentedly.
"You see, Your Greatness, the truth is not so simple as you thought."
Tamerlane had to laugh, and he ordered the guard to take down the gallows.
Notes: I included this story in Witty Tales, version 1 (December 2019): 159. Nasruddin and the Truth.
Witty Tales. The Disappearing Cat.
One morning Nasruddin returned from the market with four nice lamb shanks each weighing about an okka. (That would mean about eight pounds all together.) He gave the meat to his wife to cook. "I am going to visit my friends at the coffeehouse, and I will be inviting them to dine with me tonight," he explained. "I will come back later this afternoon to see how the preparations are going!"
Nasruddin was quite well known for his lamb stew which was, in fact, his wife's lamb stew. She prepared this delicacy with a variety of herbs from the garden, keeping the recipe a closely guarded secret.
The wife obediently cooked up the stew, and then she invited her friends over for lunch. They had not intended to eat all the stew, but so they did. It was very delicious.
Nasruddin returned later that day and was surprised to find no lamb stew cooking in the kitchen. "Wife!" he shouted. "What have you done with the meat I brought home?"
"Dear husband," she replied in a forlorn tone, "I am afraid that I have bad news for you about the lamb. Very bad news. I went to get the herbs from the garden to prepare the stew just as you had ordered, but while I was out in the garden, the cat ate the meat. A curse upon that cat and all his progeny! The meat is all gone."
Nasruddin saw the cat sleeping contently in his usual spot by the oven. "We shall see!" he exclaimed as he scooped the cat up and roughly deposited the poor creature in the kitchen scales.
"Aha! Just as I suspected. The cat weighs eight pounds... just like the lamb shanks!" He then glared at his wife. "So now you must tell me, my sweet: if this is the cat, then what has happened to the meat? And if this is the meat, then what has happened to the cat?"
Notes: I included this story in Witty Tales, version 1 (December 2019): 71. The Disappearing Cat.
Nasruddin was quite well known for his lamb stew which was, in fact, his wife's lamb stew. She prepared this delicacy with a variety of herbs from the garden, keeping the recipe a closely guarded secret.
The wife obediently cooked up the stew, and then she invited her friends over for lunch. They had not intended to eat all the stew, but so they did. It was very delicious.
Nasruddin returned later that day and was surprised to find no lamb stew cooking in the kitchen. "Wife!" he shouted. "What have you done with the meat I brought home?"
"Dear husband," she replied in a forlorn tone, "I am afraid that I have bad news for you about the lamb. Very bad news. I went to get the herbs from the garden to prepare the stew just as you had ordered, but while I was out in the garden, the cat ate the meat. A curse upon that cat and all his progeny! The meat is all gone."
Nasruddin saw the cat sleeping contently in his usual spot by the oven. "We shall see!" he exclaimed as he scooped the cat up and roughly deposited the poor creature in the kitchen scales.
"Aha! Just as I suspected. The cat weighs eight pounds... just like the lamb shanks!" He then glared at his wife. "So now you must tell me, my sweet: if this is the cat, then what has happened to the meat? And if this is the meat, then what has happened to the cat?"
Notes: I included this story in Witty Tales, version 1 (December 2019): 71. The Disappearing Cat.
Witty Tales. What Are You Doing Here?
One evening Nasruddin was walking along the road when he saw an alarming sight: men on horseback, coming down the road towards him. "Who can they be? What can they want?" Nasruddin thought to him. "I have heard stories... stories about men just like these! Men who will capture me and sell me into slavery! Men who will take me and force me to fight in their army! Men who will steal the clothes off my back and beat me and leave me for dead!"
As Nasruddin thought these terrible thoughts, imagining himself as good as dead already, he realized what he could do. Not far back along the road he had passed a cemetery. "As good as dead: of course! That's where I will hide!"
Nasruddin then turned and ran as fast he could back towards the cemetery. Frantically, he pulled at the gate, and finally it opened. He then dashed inside and, seeing a freshly dug grave, as yet empty and awaiting its occupant, he jumped down and stretched himself out and lay there trembling with fear, his eyes closed.
Meanwhile, back on the road, the men on horseback, who were nothing more than men of business on their way home, were curious about this strange man who had suddenly turned around and run at the mere sight of them. They followed him, and they were even more intrigued when they saw that he had run inside the cemetery. The men dismounted and went through the cemetery gate as Nasruddin had done.
At first, they could not tell where Nasruddin had gone, but then they saw the fresh mound of earth and the open grave. Sure enough: there he was. As the men peered down into the grave at Nasruddin, one of them said, "Hello there! You, sir, you there in the grave. Why are you lying there in that grave?"
Nasruddin slowly opened one eye, and then the other. He then crossed his arms solemnly across his chest. "Some questions," he said slowly, "are not easy to answer. But in this case, I would say that I am here because of you."
Then he smiled and added, "And you, good sirs, are here because of me."
Notes: I included this story in Witty Tales, version 1 (December 2019): 109. What Are You Doing Here?
As Nasruddin thought these terrible thoughts, imagining himself as good as dead already, he realized what he could do. Not far back along the road he had passed a cemetery. "As good as dead: of course! That's where I will hide!"
Nasruddin then turned and ran as fast he could back towards the cemetery. Frantically, he pulled at the gate, and finally it opened. He then dashed inside and, seeing a freshly dug grave, as yet empty and awaiting its occupant, he jumped down and stretched himself out and lay there trembling with fear, his eyes closed.
Meanwhile, back on the road, the men on horseback, who were nothing more than men of business on their way home, were curious about this strange man who had suddenly turned around and run at the mere sight of them. They followed him, and they were even more intrigued when they saw that he had run inside the cemetery. The men dismounted and went through the cemetery gate as Nasruddin had done.
At first, they could not tell where Nasruddin had gone, but then they saw the fresh mound of earth and the open grave. Sure enough: there he was. As the men peered down into the grave at Nasruddin, one of them said, "Hello there! You, sir, you there in the grave. Why are you lying there in that grave?"
Nasruddin slowly opened one eye, and then the other. He then crossed his arms solemnly across his chest. "Some questions," he said slowly, "are not easy to answer. But in this case, I would say that I am here because of you."
Then he smiled and added, "And you, good sirs, are here because of me."
Notes: I included this story in Witty Tales, version 1 (December 2019): 109. What Are You Doing Here?
Wednesday, December 11, 2002
Witty Tales. Faces, Lucky and Unlucky.
The emperor Tamerlane was very superstitious. For example, he placed particular importance on the face that he saw first thing in the morning or at the start of some new enterprise. Some people's faces were lucky, he thought, and some people's faces were unlucky. And woe betide the person whose face Tamerlane considered unlucky.
One day he was on his way to go hunting, Tamerlane noticed Mullah Nasruddin standing just outside the imperial gates. "Whip that man out of the way," he shouted to his attendants, "and be quick about it! I know he's my minister, but he has one of the most unlucky faces I have ever seen. I don't want his unlucky face to put a jinx on my hunt." And so Tamerlane's attendants whipped Nasruddin, driving him away from the roadside as Tamerlane rode forth.when
As things turned out, the hunt was a success, and Tamerlane returned home laden with all manner of trophies. When he saw Nasruddin in the palace later that day, he greeted him warmly. Nasruddin did not let on that he was still angry about the whipping he had received that morning.
"Greetings, Your Majesty!" Nasruddin said enthusiastically. "May I inquire as to the success of your hunt today?"
"The hunt was a tremendous success!" said Tamerlane proudly.
"Well," said Nasruddin, "I see now that some people's faces really are lucky, while other people's faces are not."
"Yes," said Tamerlane, "that is what I have learned by experience."
"Indeed!" replied Nasruddin. "Today, for example, I learned that my face must be a lucky one because, after looking at me, you enjoyed a successful hunt. As for your face, O Great One, I think it must be one of those unlucky faces to see. That is what I learned by experience."
Notes: I included this story in Witty Tales, version 1 (December 2019): 169. Faces, Lucky and Unlucky.
One day he was on his way to go hunting, Tamerlane noticed Mullah Nasruddin standing just outside the imperial gates. "Whip that man out of the way," he shouted to his attendants, "and be quick about it! I know he's my minister, but he has one of the most unlucky faces I have ever seen. I don't want his unlucky face to put a jinx on my hunt." And so Tamerlane's attendants whipped Nasruddin, driving him away from the roadside as Tamerlane rode forth.when
As things turned out, the hunt was a success, and Tamerlane returned home laden with all manner of trophies. When he saw Nasruddin in the palace later that day, he greeted him warmly. Nasruddin did not let on that he was still angry about the whipping he had received that morning.
"Greetings, Your Majesty!" Nasruddin said enthusiastically. "May I inquire as to the success of your hunt today?"
"The hunt was a tremendous success!" said Tamerlane proudly.
"Well," said Nasruddin, "I see now that some people's faces really are lucky, while other people's faces are not."
"Yes," said Tamerlane, "that is what I have learned by experience."
"Indeed!" replied Nasruddin. "Today, for example, I learned that my face must be a lucky one because, after looking at me, you enjoyed a successful hunt. As for your face, O Great One, I think it must be one of those unlucky faces to see. That is what I learned by experience."
Notes: I included this story in Witty Tales, version 1 (December 2019): 169. Faces, Lucky and Unlucky.
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