T0385. News of Nasruddin's Death

Nasruddin lies down somewhere, thinking he is dead (there are various reasons why this happens). Friends come and put him in a coffin. Carrying him home, they reach a fork in the road. When they are unable to decide which way to go, Nasruddin rises up from his coffin with instructions. "When I was alive, I used to go such-and-such a way to get home from here."

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Notes: Several times this gets paired up with the story of Nasruddin sawing out the tree branch from underneath himself, which leads to a supposed fortune-teller telling him when he will die: T0052.

T0465. A Hungry Audience

A religious leader invites Nasruddin to dinner. Nasruddin is hungry. For hours, the leader talks and tells stories, but no food is served. Finally Nasruddin asks, "Did any people in those stories ever eat?"

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Notes:

T0384. Which Road Goes to Agra?

Emperor Akbar is lost, and he asks a boy for help: "Which road goes to Agra?" The boy says roads just sit there; they don't go anywhere. Akbar is impressed and asks which road he should take to get to Agra; the boy tells him. That was Akbar's first meeting with Birbal, then called Mahesh Das.

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Notes:

T0372. The Scheme of the Two Thieves

Two Tibetan monks bring turquoise for sale. They leave the turquoise with a jeweler to appraise directing him to return the goods only to both of them, not to one of them separately. One arrives the next day and persuades the jeweler to give him the goods back. Then he leaves, and the second one arrives; both deny having received goods and insist that the jeweler pay compensation for what he stole. Birbal commands the one monk to fetch the other monk; then the jeweler will return the goods to both, just as promised. The monk departs, and neither return.

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Notes:

T0371. A Foolish Servant Watches by Night

Akbar and Birbal wander the city in disguise and then stay the night at a caravanserai. There they see a master who tells hist servant to stay awake and watch his horse. He wakes the master with nonsense thoughts: why sky has not fallen, what happens to fish if sea catches fire. Third time: horse is gone; is there any point in having someone keep watch now? Akbar offers to give the man a dozen horses for the night's amusing entertainment.

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Notes:

T0368. Gold Coin in a Barrel of Grain

Two grain merchants: one honest, one a thief. The thief borrows money but never repays. The honest man eventually needs the money; thief denies loan ever happened. Birbal arranges to send a barrel of grain to each, seeking to know what price a thousand such barrels would fetch. Birbal drops one gold coin in each barrel. Honest man returns coin; thief gives it to son. Birbal confronts him, employing his son to reveal the truth, and forces him to pay loan double.

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Notes:

T0366. Reward for Rescuing Treasure from a Fire

Miser has a box full of jewels. House catches on fire. Miser offers reward if someone rescues box. Man volunteers; "I will give you from it only whatever I like," says the man. Man succeeds and keeps the jewels for himself, giving only the box back to the miser. Miser is outraged and asks Birbal for advice. Birbal interrogates the man, "Do you like the jewels?" "Yes, of course." "Then you must give them to the owner." Man wants to at least share, but Birbal says no; he is trapped in the words of the promise he made: "I will give you only whatever I like...". In the end, the miser agrees to let man choose one precious jewel as his reward.

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Notes:

T0362. Who Can Identify the Horse?

A man is robbed of horse and money on the road; Akbar's spy arriving from Persia gives him a ride. But when they reach the city, the man claims the horse is his; he is a thief! They fight; Akbar and Birbal happen by. Akbar wants to let horse decide, but Birbal points out problems with that. Birbal arranges test: he puts the horse in a stable and has man go choose it from all the horses in the stable the next morning. The thief cannot, but the spy can because he knows his horse.

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Notes:

T0359. A Feast for the Truly Lazy

Akbar decides to organize a feast for the lazy, but who is really lazy? Birbal sets the feast tent on fire; most run, but some are too lazy to run. These are the truly lazy ones!

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Notes:

T0358. Two Mangoes for Seven Guards

Akbar has a mango tree under guard, but Birbal says he can still steal from it. He is going to bribe the guards: "I give you half, provided you give me one back." Birbal steals two mangoes and that is all he needs to pass through all seven guards using that formula. Akbar is amused.

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Notes:

T0356. The Cat that Won't Drink Milk

Akbar is distressed by courtiers who agree to everything. To find out who is bold enough to contradict him, he orders them to keep a hundred cats, fat and sleek, and to show them at court every month. Birbal trains his cats to not like milk by serving it hot. His cats are not fat; Birbal shows king that it's not his fault; they won't drink milk. "Strange are the whims of cats and kings." Akbar relents and rescinds the order.

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Notes:

T0353. Akbar Puts the Empress to Work

Akbar sees other women working hard and decides to put the queen to work too. Birbal teaches a lesson by not watering delicate flowers since banyan trees are not watered. Akbar realizes he cannot treat his queen the same as others, just as you cannot treat delicate flowers like a banyan tree.

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Notes:

T0352. The Shape of the Precious Jewel

Man accuses a party guest of stealing a diamond; four other party guests support his story. Akbar's brother-in-law finds man guilty, but Birbal tests the four witnesses by making them shape the diamond in wax. All four shapes are different; the man is innocent.

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Notes:

T0191. Falling in a Pot of Honey

Akbar has had a dream. "You and I were soaring in the sky, then I fell in a pot of honey, and you fell in a gutter." Birbal replies, "I had that dream, and my dream continued: we both got out and decided to lick each other clean."

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Notes:

T0188. The Rug Merchant and the Boatman

An Afghan merchant comes to court in desperation: the boatman he had hired claims he is the owner of all the goods. Boatman denies it; oarsmen back him up. Birbal tests the boatman and the trader by seeing what they will sell the goods for. It's clear the boatman is a lying opportunist, so Birbal is then able to get the oarsmen to confess.

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Notes:

T0187. The Value of Broken Things

Akbar says to throw away a chipped vase. Birbal explains that things which are broken, crushed, chipped, etc. all have their uses.

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Notes:

T0183. How Akbar is Greater than God

A courtier praises Akbar as greater than God. "How can that be?" he asks the rest, feeling flattered. No one dares speak. Birbal says, "You can do something God cannot. You can banish a man from your kingdom; God cannot banish anyone like that." So Birbal both flattered Akbar but also pointed out the greatness of God at the same time.

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Notes:

T0181. The Five Identical Shahs

The Shah of Persia wants to test Birbal. There are five identical Shahs on identical thrones. Birbal still knows which one is the real one. "How?" asks the shah. "The rest looked towards you while you looked only at me."

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Notes:

T0179. Birbal Gathers the Fools

The emperor is tired of wise men. "Bring me the ten greatest fools!" he commands, so Birbal goes out to find the fools. Man carrying bundle on head to spare donkey. Man with arms spread, lying out ground; "I can't move my arms or I won't know how big a pot to buy." Man running from mosque to hear his voice. Men fighting over nonexistent boons from God: tiger and buffalo. Passerby is so indignant at the fools that he drops his pot and the oil spills: that makes six. Birbal finds a man looking for ring in moonlight where the light is. Another man searching for a ring in the sand: "I buried it right under a cloud to mark the spot." Plus Akbar makes eight for sending him on this errand, and Birbal for agreeing. That makes ten!

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Notes: All of these stories of "fools" appear as Nasruddin stories. :-)

T0178. Birbal's Adventure in Burma

Allies of Akbar's brother-in-law Hussain Khan want a Muslim minister, not a Hindu. Akbar sends Hussain Khan and Birbal to Burma with a sealed letter. Emperor of Burma reads the letter: it says to hang them at full moon. Birbal tells Hussain Khan to follow his lead. "Please hang us!" Birbal says to the emperor. "Yes!" agrees Hussain Khan. And then: "Hang me first!" says Birbal. "No, me first!" says Hussain Khan. Why are they so eager to go first? Birbal explains that the man hanged here will be king of Burma in next birth. Now emperor wants to keep them alive, and sends them home. Hussain Khan admits Birbal is the most wise and should be minister.

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