Nasruddin asks his wife to bring him yogurt: delicious and nutritious. Wife says there is no yogurt. "Well, that's good, he says; "it's bland and makes you fat." His wife says that's a contradiction. Nasruddin says, "If we had yogurt, you should believe the first statement; if not, the second."
Notes: Different versions have different foods, such as cheese instead of yogurt. Elcot's version has a comparison to the way you slander someone in their absence, but praise them in their presence.
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